This is a well lit idea but how am I going to know that it becomes worthwhile. Purpose will slowly wash over me in cryptic waves and then plummet, dragging me down with the worst of them, until I'm a frozen corpse underneath an iced over lake. There is no why. There is only how.
Complex isolation at first. Seattle is my new city to conquer in the cold. Let snowflakes determine my moving date. Let the leisurely strolls through the neighborhood commence unabashed. Trees with gnarled roots will crawl toward me and I will walk nimbly by, up hill, to the estuary with winter birds.
I will be able to nourish the parts of my personality that are most hungry. In a small cottage, high-strange, feeling odd about it, sanctuary of beautiful thought and too much space for my poor college attitude. A part time on campus job might help me face my fears. Reality here is a strange thought. I'm not sure how much I believe that I'll be in seattle soon, captivated by the colorful lights and bus routes to and from wonderful, fun, places in the city. Here is a place to grow roots. I will be aloof for awhile, as I find my way through the forest of concrete domes and bone chilling screeching tires, and music venues to find friends, friends, friends, life long acquaintances with bold actions and activities, I will jam, jam, jam with musical geniuses until the windows crack from spreading frost bite. Our hands will ache and the notes will rush out of them. The moments will not be scripted. It will be easy to be discouraged from discovering a sociable personality buried within myself. I'm there for school first and foremost. I will be a nice guy in my classes and an honest, appreciative one. My time at other schools cannot convince me that I'll be anything like that in the future. I have grown because I have crawled through the desert and hollywood dream states to get here and to earn this. Who I was in Portland, Arizona, and Los Angeles is not who I am anymore and this will be clear as day to me. I cannot blow this because I have come too far to get here and my desire to live so well and free up in this foreign neighborhood is so compelling that I could not muck it all up. My intent will vary but the melody and the progress will remain, remain, remain. It's all up from here my beautiful counterpart. There is nowhere else to go when you're lasered in so tight and so passionate to the city of emeralds and ferris wheels and salt water.
Make your move and be reborn. Grow roots under the sidewalks.
