8:56-9:16am
Was going to get down on fried eggs, fried eggs, but I lost my appetite for them as well as patient to make it happen. Woke up drowsy from that night time cold medicine that knocked me on my ass. Pulverized me and I could barely turn my light off in time. Nearly lost consciousness with the light on. Would have illuminated my dreams. Made oatmeal instead. Yeah, no story here, I know. Bad coffee. Flaming Lips t-shirt. Jeff Beck guitar licks. How to train your brain to become a superbrain. "We sit and discuss god on lawn chairs."
She worries what to write. Who might maliciously reveal all of her deepest secrets and most violent fears. 3 cups of coffee, her small body shaking. She is tall but not basketball height. No meat on her bones really. Just bones. There is a beauty about how she carries herself, always aware of some sort of flaw that no one else could have seen or noticed. I want to hurt whoever made her think like this. Whoever conditioned this self-deprecating awareness. Unless it's all her creation. Then I will give her a hug and move on. Shivering when it is 60 degrees outside. Inside. Cold black hearts surround her and suffocate her creativity with drugs and guns and sex. Before marriage, yes. Learn how to smoke weed from a pro. This bowl is cashed. These brain cells are cashed. Brain growth. Don't stunt yourself. You'll need a wheelchair and develop black lungs by the time you move out of this hazy little city we all grew up in. Grow out of it. This phase. Go to the gym. Guarantee you could be beautiful. More beautiful. She smiles and says thank you, strictly out of some forlorn etiquette. I must have seemed intimidating. Sitting in the cold, on a bench outside of the post office, in shorts and a wife-beater and a new haircut. A nice hair cut. Over a month ago he says. The last time they touched and squirmed under the moonlight. The last time advantage was taken. Drunk and sad and lonely. No one considers those things good for a man. Usually most people consider these traits dangerous. He is going to do something stupid. Something regrettable that can't be taken back. Maybe get in a fight. Get an STD from a notorious whore. Puke on the sidewalk and end up arrested. Cannonball the hot tub when some fucker is making out with two girls at once. With laundry detergent packs in pockets. They erupt and explode in the hot tub and clean everything up. Ridiculous lengths for the prank. The dollar store before halloweekend. We still haven't and probably won't. Climb camelback mountain. Ladders. Ropes. Trail mix. Water. Fruit. Camera. Headache. Missed a whole bunch of life music due to a lingering cold. Saturday. Tomorrow. No Bragging Rights at the Underground with a bunch of hardcore punk bands. The ASU basketball team is playing Washington State. The Phoenix Suns are playing against the Memphis Grizzlies. There is a Monster Truck show at Chase Field. Gravedigger. There is a free show at the coffee shop, the Fixx. Most likely I will end up at the Fixx unless some miracle inspires a driver to take me to another event. Off into my day now. Bye.
