Here we talk, so painfully rigid through all of it, a burning desire to escape scot free... I'm sorry I don't want to exist in your mindless drone-happiness paradigm, free from sin, I can't bend that way. Your self righteousness would be appalling if you had the capacity to look inward. Your favorite color is green because of money. My favorite color is green because of the natural world. I am attacked for my desire to be an outcast. I reply glibly that it is merely a matter of taste, not due to an upbringing without a strong affinity with team sports. I can be a team player when I do not feel like the team is destroying my individuality. Ha ha ha.
To feel so lost in conversation is mesmerizing. I received these attacks, sent with love, they say, mind you, without so much as a fragment of retaliation. It is growing in me now. The gym this morning, with all of the mopped up citizens trying to work hard to stay fit and the illegibly television sets strewn about to make the cardio a little bit easier in such a dull and dreary world, these bastards and their flamboyant jogging shorts, made to look like clowns, with clown dreams of escaping the circus, but until then continually putting on the face paint. There are mirrors and words of weak inspiration thrown about. A really positive environment. With nice positive vibrations.
We are at different levels, different vibrations. We're up here, he says, and you are down there. You do not wish to come up to us or for us to come down to you, therefore there will always be conflict. I agree that there will always be conflict but are so sure that I'm way below you in aspiration?
It's frustrating to never feel understood.
It's worse when they say they do. The passive aggressive, racist, bigot, conservative, enivironment-killing, money motivated, art hating, ignorant fucks.
Now I should throw these thoughts away. They are so damned negative I'll have to carry them for the rest of my life.
