Feb 23 14 - night time

Experts at life say that it takes a month to develop a habit. Probably much less time if it is heroin. I've spent two months uncertain. At the end of the first month I had a developed habit of uncertainty and the next few weeks after proved to be a continuation of the former. Now shattered expectations. I'm going to dive into the art of imitating life as if it were my own body moving through space and now the vast mechanism of instinct, beyond my intelligences and senses, extending past all hope for a better past. You will forgive me when there is blood coming out of my ears from having slipped on the thick, wet moss in the middle of the drive way. The serene peace of the trees hanging overhead like watch towers over the garden of eden, in paradise this laid flat home with pretensions and lackluster charisma. The week of planning and fortification. These are hours to spend well intended and heroic in endeavor and mind. Sober intent to perform the glorious exercises of an intellectually searching youth where the glimpses of truth set fixed in the comrade's eyes are helpful affirmations of the subsequent loneliness arching it's back near the conclusion of such a day. Fiend for the flesh and the amiable smile, victimless crimes of giving and receiving whilst under the fragrant mist of magnetic love, these arms are heavy with doubtless simile and the round face and upturned slashes of black above the eyelashes coerce me into wonderful bliss, so often and well intended though my sensibilities and insecurity feel this, all of these gorgeous sensations to somehow be attacks against my free will, though I thought I had let down the drawn bridge of my guarded castle, why must I give the impression of swimming the moat? alligators and all? There is a beauty in throwing your body at another as swift as jet stream youth. Transcend bounds of skin pact, we dance with our fingertips on the dance floors of our exposed bodies, those printed fingers, coarse or gentle, well maintained or distracted in self involved studious carelessness, the attenuation of glorified reckoning, he is trying to inspire himself to try harder, to resurface and to give her the good graces required and deserved to keep this unanchored dock afloat, two souls swam up on it and decorated it with found objects, sometimes she would grow out her gills and dive to find treasure under rocks at the depths, splashing him playfully with her tail, the timidity destroyed and compassion regained like assured footing on a narrow precipice after surpassing a crippling fear of falling to one's death, maybe a rock slipped out from the shoe, or the shoe flies off down into the chasm like a tiny parachuted soldier, meandering until smoldering in a crushed body instantaneous death, or the cease of the relationship with one and one's footing, the gravity success eminent in the trends of a Italian restaurant role reversal and a great big pile of unrealized dreams sneak up and haunt like a whole graveyard come alive at once, hands burst forth from underneath those ancient mounds and thus our relationship is rekindle with a fiery passion, oh joy.