Met Zion on the street. From seattle. God bought his plane ticket. A cold day in Arizona. He found god knocking on his heart after a four days binge on heroin and cocaine. I found my calling in being a host body for him. He moves me across the country, if our paths meet again, if you see me strumming my guitar outside on the street, or landing a kickflip, or smoking a cigarette, you will know that it has come true. That wish that you were granted but haven't yet wished.
He thought I had a bible under my arm. It is simply a journal. I sat near him to write and listen to some music. I was not paying attention to the lyrics. The air is cold for fingers to act appropriately. They slide slow across nickel would strings. Even nylon for classical. He seems to not be making mistakes though. Street noise blocks a lot of the sound, probably for his benefit, due to temperature, so I give him the benefit of the doubt.
What were you singing about?
God
Those were songs you wrote?
Yes
Oh
-------------
Moral support more than comic relief. Mixture I suppose. ('No pets...' Fuck you! I love my dog.) Breakfast at starbucks, thanks a latte for your fair trade policies, the stock nearly invested in. My father and I know so very little about stocks and such investments. Free money I suppose. Shares in stocks. But evergreens are more important. That kind of green. In our society it pays to have money. The wanderer. The journeyman. The cross country homeless adventurer. Is less possible. To simply take off without looking back. Somewhere impossibly free and without judgment. Not heaven. (I wonder what Zion would have said if I told him after he asked me, "what do you believe in?" if i had said, "i tend to stay away from religion. if anything, i lean towards buddhism.") So no. I cannot be labelled as an agnostic. For one reason... as south park demonstrated... it is a silly thing to preach or to outwardly discuss. Otherwise I hate how people must believe in their own religious view. The label they choose for themselves. (It is not chosen for you, fools. Unless you were forced and conditioned into it as a child.)... People believe in their own religious views, mostly, closing off other positive elements from different 'outside' religions. It doesn't make sense to me. Why do you think your side of the coin is the only side? Why do you think there is nothing on the otherside of that mountain range?
There are storms everywhere. Freak storms where normally mild temperature.
TO be a tramp. Someone searching for himself across America. On that great journey through danger and insolence. On the highways, walking until the soles of shoes wear out. Filling your cup with philosophies. Filling your head with a mental clarity and calmness. The simple living, subtracting the outer elements, the distractions that entertain/plague our current culture... the simple living of random movement paired with clever intuition... the right rock... resort back to basic animal needs. A writer's journey through america with a very limited amount of money coming in. I know what city I need to be in to receive a certain amount of money in the mail. Or is this too much? Maybe I'll write a letter or use someone's phone for a minute and let them know where I will be and that I will need the cash. Wander with all belongings on my back. The bare essentials. Find lockers before entering cities and picking up fliers for the local music venues where I will meet nice people who will help and support me, realizing that I am in no way a homeless or crazy person. (Unfortunately I will probably have to say. You know. Like Chris McCandless. Into the Wild. and they will say oh okay. so you aren't a murderer or a weirdo or anything. you can sleep on my couch without stealing things and we will trust you mostly. you can buy us alcohol or something. that might cross the line. no good logic being arrested in some strange city.) bring ID unlike mccandless. never kill an animal. avoid heavy drugs like hunter thompson. The ideal journey is with friends, wild enough. Dean Moriarty. Except instead of jazz it's rock. Miscellaneous rock or rap or punk or folk. Whatever is passing through the town or city. The most important thing is to know which areas of cities to avoid for one reason or another. Some danger is unavoidable but one must exercising caution when intermingling with other freaks who are on a savage journey with you. Maybe one that includes incredible drug use and murder. No time for that.
A journey with the good old boys. Across the sea and back. Looking for kicks and life lessons. Looking for inspiration. Set out with a group of English degrees. Spanning the countryside looking for trouble. A solid group of people who are trustworthy and reliable enough. Not safe and boring people though no. No way. The type of people who laugh and cry. The ones who are as hungry for life as I and are not hindered by sudden desires. They go for it. They push you to go for it. While maintaining discretion that the act will not ruin ones life. The act may very well be deviant. Jumping off a pool into a roof. Planning a hoax. Etc. But not hard drugs. No harm can be caused onto others without just reason. To have a friend punch someone in the face at a bar without a word, means to inadvertently enter a fight. I would have to put down my drink, exit the conversation I am having with a sad and cute girl with glasses as politely as possible and try to break it up. I have your back, man but that guy did nothing to you. I don't like needlessly fighting. He would shove me off and say that i was a pussy buddha lovin pacifist and take it outside without me. So you're a buddhist the girl would ask? He thinks I am, yeah.
The problem with a group of good old boys is that strangers would have a much harder time allowing us into their homes or apartments. Their humble abodes. Because in a group, especially the insane riotous writing types, we would be loud. They would be annoyed and disinclined to give us shelter. Two friends with self control and a wild spirit.
------------
Yes I understand it is valentine's day. But I have no candles to light. No altar to sacrifice anything on. No heart to roll up my sleeve. It's conditional. Suddenly, due to societal pressure... relationships have to compete. They have to try to out-do each other in elaborateness or expense. It's all dollars and cents. Whoever looks nicest and spends the most wins. Whoever pretends to be happiest wins and lessens the date experienced by other couples. Say you want to spoil your girl and make others feel their relationship is inferior to yours because you appear so fucking happy.... take her out with same romantic intention on some random night. buy her a card and flowers for shits. take her out somewhere nice and dress casual. pounce in the faces of those who dissent. let them see your happiness work like a bubble around the both of you. let them know you care more than one day out of the year and then the others will be jealous and nag their significant others in secret. why can't you make yourself look nice? why can't you take me out like that instead of drinking with your friends then having sex once their too drunk to notice where we went?
Heart shaped chocolates and rose pedals are the keys to shallow hearts. There is something agreeable in conforming to the childlike idea of valentines day. The exchange of cards with nice messages in them. If by entering the cliche and loving each other in some candle lit bedroom... is outside your comfort zone like... 'i can't believe we're actually having a date night on valentines day... this is so funny that we are conforming haha' then it's good... It is harmless.
It is harmful for those with expectations. For those with heart shaped eyes. They want chocolate on their tongue and they want you to spoil them. Girls want you to impress others with your treatment of her. They want to be spoiled. Guys want special sex and to show off their girlfriend they are going to have special sex with tonight.
It's all sex and candy. Singles awareness day. Today spits in your face a bit. But it is not heartbreaking. I know where I stand and I am aware I've made very effort to have company today. To have a buddy to go sneak into White Denim with. A girlfriend to be a friend for the night. Oh hell. Let's go out and find some fun. Laugh at the couples and scoff in the face of those who believe we are on a date. With you? Please. hahah
