9-920
Try sleeping on my back because it's good for the spine, also good coffin practice.
I would have slept better in an electrical fire.
I tried to pinpoint the causes of my pain. Not just why but how.
But this task became impossible like counting stars in space with your fingers.
(If it pleases you to leave me, just go)
I will call Portland and bother them with a legislative concern.
Summer in Switzerland, in Spain, in London, in Florence, Italy.
Design and contemporary societal functions of design.
German language and culture, Regensburg.
Burning 1 grand a week. Times six.
Design & Context in Rome, Paris, and Amsterdam.
Italy, Rome, Netherlands.
London Literature & Theatre.
Read the plays then go see them at the Globe Theater.
Get a comprehensive overview of cross-cultural psychology and immigration phenomena.
In Spain. Spanish not being a requirement because we will be tourists and we will stick together like legal obligation holding marriages together, stay together for the kids.
Too afraid to contemplate going to Kuwait.
I would want to go somewhere and talk to people.
A summer abroad. What about a rock and roll band tour abroad?
No college credit there but shit. If I prove myself worthy.
An experience like that would help a reputation. Oh yeah, I took a year off to tour europe.
Or a semester off. If tension builds and we hate each other by the end.
Fancy bass work. Why must I feel inferior to be a bassist. It is what I tend to land on. The safe bet. The guitar far too scary and complicated for a simpleton....
I'm listening to you talking
but I ain't see you walking
I'm a participant but you just watching
from the sidelines, your whole crews blind
you can't tell the city from the skyline
etc...
Woke up with a start and a pain. An all over pain. That reminds me nothing of why I came here. That reminds me how alone I feel amidst 70,000 students, many of them my age. I should be interacting smoothly but it seems something awful happens every time I talk. And I can't blame them all, if everyone reacts to me the same way. Whatever it is I do, I feel as though I will forever be doomed to this loneliness and isolation as long as I live here. The state or the sky is brown and when it rains your car gets dirtier. The racist city. Pound through pre conceived notions of a party school and end up studying alone in the library again and again. Some attend the school for many years and never end up even stepping foot into the library. I must. I must gain access and success and find myself somewhere. If I don't bury myself in my studies or in training to cultivate talents outside of class.. then I would be wasting my time thoroughly and irreparably. Because I cannot get this time back and it would have all been wasting because I was frowning the whole time. It doesn't matter if I'm happy as long as I am accomplished and receive accolades and all of that nonsense.
