The day to drive up to the Indian reservation for booze and explosives but this county bans uncontrolled use of fireworks on the holiday. (Receiving pay and a half.) Drain my bank account on pretty explosions. In the night sky, on the waterfront, competing for attention with all of the others out there. Respecting the size and might of explosions across the bay. Some finale by the bridge. Hear it echo across and clap like thunder after lightning.
The day will be busy anyway. Lacking Indian friends to visit and to purchase from. Might go out and see some lights in the sky at the park in the middle. Seems more hazardous with no natural open water source for 20 miles. There must be a reservoir. Before that, exercise (if I can get my heart rate up with out exploding) then band practice or library then band practice then library. Library does not need to happen today. At least I know where it is. Given free time I will explore its shelves and find what I am looking for to learn in this world. But without much time to digest there is no need to stuff that logic down my throat. I will need an open window to jump through in a calm and collected fashion before browsing that waterfall entryway upscale library. Wondering if they have jazz or classical and wishing to expand my horizons in sleep to accommodate these new arrivals. Then work later pushing carts, will be busy tonight, from last minute preparations for tomorrow night. If I was having a backyard barbeque on the fourth I would certainly get all my shopping done the day before so then I could get day drunk with my friends and admire the work my new gardener did in the back. They would love the stepping stones leading to the upper pavilion. Here we can smoke our cigars and witness fireworks over the tree tops if we face our chairs west. It will be packed but then a dark night dinner with zero expectations a preliminary date to see if further pursuit is necessary.
-------
No time for library. As it goes. So it goes. Sweat in a lonely clean place. Accidentally sweep when I should have cart. Work is work and play is play. Keep them separate. Built up emotion at the edge of a new holiday. Networking like shit. No friends around at the moment. All the same. The horrible repetition. I'm trying and trying. Is the social life I do miss. Why is that? Once I live in the woods perhaps I'll have had my fill of meaningless social relationships and be entirely content on my own. Building treeforts for no children ever to use. Burn down the trees. We are nearly done with the staple. With the landmark. The beginning of a new chapter. Given the opportunity to go up to Seattle. Accepted to U.W. despite having holes in the necessary credits. Somehow, on paper, they assumed I am worthy of their institution. Now, somehow... I must feel worthy to be where I am. Birthday boy. Does he get anything from me. Does anything new need to happen?
-----
Count this as the fourth, in a line up, in a sporadic combination, but
the words are malleable ( able to be hammered or pressed out of shape
without breaking or cracking.) but I thank your smile for guiding me
through a night prior to the festivities. More than likely...... ( I will copy and paste this text that was from the new post with the contents of the fourth of july in full being and realism when possible or the casual artistry. Nearly stole the guitar out of a homeless man's garage car hideout. I am glad the car was gone before the end of my nine o clock shift. But that lag was conscientious... I barely had the heart in me to steal the heart way from someone, a stranger, without the means to fabricate an end. The worst kind of situation with a person of lower socio-economic status. We don't think over each other in racial tones. We pat each others back waiting for the intenses chirstmas party every year with a date or two. The sacrifice and hanging out text message correspondent. goodnight everyone. I am exhausted and about to pass out without remorse
