I fell asleep and woke up with double vision. A bleary eyed and headache inducing dizziness and a lethargy that could make a happy whale beach itself. What source is this? I'm not sure. I listen to music and the faint buzzing of my periphery and feel as though I might implode. Maybe my reaction to a great pressure is one of frail defeat and I fall into myself without regards to the ground or the clouds or the pain of the neck and the spine readjusted and the delirious tremens triggering their synapses reminders that the soma must be introduced to the system or else it all falls apart like a hot air balloon caught on fire, is this a meditative calm or a horrible indifference and what if a combination of both. Oh yes I have a cumulative exam this afternoon (in two hours or so) and I am not concerned about it. I have a 7 page intertextual analysis paper due tomorrow evening and I am not concerned about it. If this nausea and general disease prevent me from high performance, there is no excusing.
These words act a testament to the mind that controlled the results of these assignments. Tonight I draft. What do I do right now? Prevent the sickness from taking complete control of my sensations. Probably best to go outside and walk it off. This is no joke. It is a sensation of consistent vertigo paired with a bile-burning feeling in my throat. There is pressure behind my eyes and within them. I feel out of body. This is the best way to describe a perpetually haunted feeling I've had recently. I feel as though I'm hovering over myself looking down disapproving of my actions. Like a soul departed from a body too soon. The body is not dead. On both planes of existence, a somnambulant plateau, the eternal bridge crossing but the death of the world wouldn't reunite these personalities. A body without a compass. The soul seen in glimpses in the clouds as the consciousness zooms in between the two during each blink. Maybe I feel the pull of the earth. Gravity is hurting my eyes and I move slowly because my earth-legs have not yet developed. The sea of sea legs and the arms of sky arms and the lips of earth lips and the teeth of tree teeth. Cavernous depths of the psyche when taxed and stretched over the openings. the horror of poor executed attempts at success-given opportunity. feel the burn in the eyes and the ears and the teeth clack together. wonder what this is all about. why must it be today, if some virus has taken my body... give it a few days! please!
