horrifying negative energy. get me the hell out of here. there are topics to graze over that make us stupid and simple minded like the wounded animals we are. only intention for survival but via the best and the most extravagant means. helicopters and burning fuel and everything. my brain can't tolerate waste. it can't. it doesn't allow me to enjoy things sometimes due to this. I think about ocean creatures I may inadvertently be killing by neglecting to recycle. I think about the plastic bags in landfills multiplying.. and wonder if it is even humanly possible for me to live well without impacting the earth itself in a negative manner. I think about small change when I drink ten dollar beers at pubs. Every sip tastes like a quarter and may as well be one. The taste of blood in my mouth when I bite my tongue when I my body disagrees violently. Sometimes I shake and spasm. I just can't stand the broad sweeping sentiments. I can't use the word 'can't' anymore. It is gone. It must disappear. Be gone foul demon. You are worthless to me. Forever.
Keep everything light. Just under the surface. Make independent films from scratch tracks then revise twice then tear it apart and start from the drawing board. Polish off a handle of sailor jerry's to reminisce freshman year of college and every year of high school. Remember drinking in parking lots with the windows down, blasting the best tunes. These permanent fools. Forever suspended in oblivion. I'm entirely included. Killing the planet by living on it. It is the system itself. Everything is set up with materialistic gain in mind therefore it is a culture to crush on the skulls of the weaker. Constantly. To rise or die. To love peacefully and to live on forever.
we all beating hearts. we shouldn't forget that we are all breathing the same polluted air. we are using the same words. the same transportation. we forget we're all connecting and no one ends up giving a shit in the end. it's do or die. so just die.
psychologically analyze the results. the vacations. the sun as a necessity. the cold front coming in and the layers come on. it makes you appreciate the sun so much more. it makes everything better. and worse. the cold. the weather. the people. the permanent places in my heart. sink into me. make you appreciate everything more. because otherwise it all dies. it all dies anyway. find a place to make yourself worthwhile and involved in the world.
do not die purposelessly.
you are so much better than that.
