Take a cold shower to revisit all of the sense that become dormant in a safe and comfortable life. Naked bodies are not used to the cold and icicles form on our dendrites, we take precaution but are never used to the kind of vulnerability unconventional love causes in us. Nobody ever knows how to react to love sent, the heart becomes convoluted and full of body-shaken remorse. You, my audience, you caused ulcerous sores in my mouth, something that could lead to cancer or worse. Finding the elements incongruous. I stripped myself of my dignity in the face of yours. there were words like lightning at our fingertips and we shocked each other until our hair stood up straight. delirious thoughts about alcohol and suddenly we hear all of the sounds we wish to all at once. let the mind wander and capture every manic verb, frolic stupid through dead flowers, we are yuppies at heart, something that will die without much intention, though it's simple, I know you can't die without a more diverse life of sexuality, it would extremely difficult to be chaste to marriage then to retain purity throughout adolescence and to remain until the honeymoon suite in some foerign view that we both enjoy immensely. "I enjoy you," you'll say... "...and I enjoy you," I'll say. that will continue for a while until we can no longer tolerate our virtue. we will be closed off from the simultaneous feelings. I know the childhood friends now married and having flown out to some ridiculous expanse of incredible love. that is a dream to hold on to. golf course and chariots.
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speak of lovesickness and how dumb you have to be to fall in love so young, and eat your fucking heart out, how you do not trust education or history how everything media says these days dictates and how close it all becomes to something close to Orwell or Huxley. it is fucked up and I bit my tongue to avoid being singled out in any sense. education is beautiful. how could you proclaim yourself happy to avoid being booksmart. that word is one used of ignorant and incredibly dull individuals. but then I'll drink and write with a ferocity they never understand. not a god damn sad empathic bone on his body. I hate them some days. and I sleep or numb myself to avoid conversation. do not fucking question me. let me alone. sometimes I need to be apart from you. it is not what you assume because you are worlds apart from me and you will never be right if you guess anything about me. unless you got to know me but I doubt you will. it is something superficial and light. something hopeful and enlightened. I will ruin opportunities by letting this love shit hand over my head. this in the back of my head. the difference between genders and the general sexism kills me forever. high school sweet heart my god. there is nothing longer than two years' time. we are something outside of what you've ever experienced therefore your advice I will avoid.
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1:15
deprived of sleep like those involved involved in tantric sex deprived of orgasm. we are at the mercy of each others lingering scents and this is nonsense. hearing constantly through the walls other sounds and I pay you a good god damn amount of money so fuck you if I am loud. I wish to be just what I god dman am. I wish to swear less but live harder and louder. so help me god. asipdnfas;iob ,
there was a bandaid on my steel reserve and everyone is destroyed because of it
