Tuesday, March 26, 2013

March 26

There have been so many days of pass out drunks and late night liquor runs that I've lost track of how much change I have left in my accounts. There are whiskey spills in antique diners and all of the muted feelings transformed into solid thoughts over time, through time and with time. The people who where once circles have remained as circles and we see those who are not entirely here as they are here, funny feeling out for land as it slips away from you and the amount of years compiling over us like the tidal waves cascading over beach sediment... we are not foreign to change, we are accumulating and finding rhythms between the worlds without white affluence and the ability to roll up with the exaggerated crowds, a sense of humor got you somewhere and an influence of this comes out of me every now and then, the quickness and logic of instant classic humor when you are sloppily drunk carrying yourself up the stairs of my childhood home, the same placards on the walls and the same isolation once we are both gone, some rigid contentment that we are young and free, exploring the boundaries of love at its most crucial and developmental point. We are basically surgeons with scalpels of shapes we've never seen handed to us. We could never conclude that we knew what we were doing. In those silent and lonely expansive nights, spending that time writing vulgar thoughts of childhood friends who experienced the wrong side of life at the edge of the morning mattress, something grumpy and life-consuming on his part. We are losing weight with precision and tactics of religions exposed beyond elaborate rehearsal with dresses on and our eyes face painted into life. Expensive beer bought and consumed in rapid and unthankful manners. The body parts eliminated necessarily when prevalent.

we said we would talk but we haven't. there are beds to enter elsewhere and we will not hug freely in my shattered bedroom, the very first girl you've ever made out with and a willpower to ignore the awful crushing sensation of disquiet and doubt, at a young age as an unfree child, there are no limits to imagination in the end... it always seems better when on somebody elses lap in a field somewhere, in a small tent on the sea shore, on an ottoman with sheets pulled over, underwear strewn about in disarray, the descriptive words defiled from the English language and understand quickly to become a certain break from the malicious execution. How fun it is to play with words in such a free manner! There are no boundaries to withhold me. There are no penalties to destroy me! It is a pure and luxurious endeavor, through vigor, runny nose, and spit. All of the vital ingredients to a present-day parade. This clear communication is in effect of the constant drink and the sporadic inclusion of the weed leaf. There are open accusations to make, on any level. Search that level clear and through with direction of online forums and never find anything worthwhile on a day-to-day basis. These are the proportions of the moon and the toothaches to prove it. Tooth decay in the ancestors of modern man. The fossils to be discovered by future humans of our stored remains. We would remain as frozen silhouettes of known people, fermented in cavernous mass graves for future research. They are intended as a heightened statistical increase. They are present day hieroglyphs to study in future holographic classrooms.

There is a sickness taken over my sense are screwing me over. Described prior as a treatable influenza, their may be a base in the happy diet out of a healthy actuality, vacation shouldn't represent a healthy way to live in the most general, lack of inhibitions self, but I am discovering I can't even inhale correctly with seeping tears and searing pain.

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later, with eyes running inconceivably, at 1:51 after meridian, in the morning, I feel as though this
allergen is in effect caused by  previous location and a very centered pain and numb digits, the fingers reaching through steel wire, the constant obstacles with specific green blips on the radar. These outward ripples are caused by propeller movement and an understanding of the opportunity and the excitement in which personal definition is involved, a sick an unwarrented reaction to the moving parts and the confidence is success, it doesn't even feel like you won't make it somewhere enormous and a cautious tale to warn off predators, a cautionary tale against allergic reactions to certain creatures, their fur included in derivative forms, flustered and awfully infected with some stupid temporary disease and a strange glance at the dichotomy and the less drank hero, overcome by horrible judgment of value, an ailment overcomes the obituary headlines, the bigger the advertisement, the better, the right hands full of gold coins, and elysian fields span the expanses of time. I hear my sister coughing loud through the door of my broken door toward the upstairs bathroom. A privileged set up finally lined up to feel fully connected and sometimes the alcohol upsets that forgotten equilibrium, the meaning disclosed beneath the words is heard and the addiction settles nicely into the bones as a dry mouth horror unfolds alone in the dark house of my dreams of paradise.