Stability is rooted in constant anticipation. With nothing obvious to look forward to, one tends to look back and become destroyed by the acknowledgement of the passage of time. There is a window for self-appraisal at the end of a day. If it is all toxic and negative then this period will include regret, a sense of having lost something beautiful and special. If it is positive and healthy then this time will be more loving and content with the unpredictable events of the day. It is the difference between seeing darkness or light in your immediate past. This morning so far. Could have helped move tables for a party I was invited to outside of my room. I did not move. This is not a regret. This is acknowledgement of a missed opportunity for human connection but nothing more. No resentment grows in my decision to remain horizontal.
One must look back every now and then to discover who they are, how they react to random stimulus, and trends that have formed. If one can predict a disaster by assessing the past, this is not a bad thing. Too much focus looking behind will lead to a major lack in presence and the anticipation for the future will be weighed down by idiot regret.
Look forward to something... To kissing the hair of the woman you love. To playing music with friends. To waking up in a new apartment. Anything. The smallest plan for the future can cause riveting excitement. It does not have to be huge. It is all life experience on this wild ride. This is a journey and everything fills your cup. Everything fits even as the information sloshes around and your brain bakes in the sun. It is all there. We are all here.
This life is something to look forward to.
As a rule, do not allow yourself to look forward to superficial goals... such as winning the lottery. This is not realistic in any sense. You are better than that to believe in such trivial things.
As long as you do not buy into any group anticipation for a stupid and media/marketing based event in our dumb consumer economy... You will be fine. Do not let a television premiere dictate your mood. Ever.
