Prime time to see your name, huge, in neon lights above the marquee. Finding yourself somewhere on stage every night. Sexy voice attached to that body and everyone will fall in love with you. Find your thick blues voice upon that dark stage. Light boxes illuminating highlights in your hair and everyone feels your smile crush them to pieces after you sing sad songs and have the happiest eyes out of any cursed girl on the planet. The way your body quivers when you hit notes in a higher register. Just out of reach, but you stand on your toes and extend enough. With a purple guitar, dark eyes, and a winning smile, even if it may be rare at the moment. Turbulent hours spent in confusion. Arms extended around. There is nothing I can do to take back my participation in deviance. Those night traumas. (Now you've got me thinking I'm amazing) I am a nightmare. I am that creak in the bed across the room that you hope is simply another dream. My dream. Fall asleep with headphones in, wake up strangled. There is no limit to those dreams and sometimes they are recurring. I am always there, as a participant. You are the witness. I am the cursed radiant demon. Feeling for animal warmth. In caves of red tapestry and white string lights. I am the dark carpet that soaks up dark wines. I am the ear plugs and the blindfold necessary to outlive my nightmare. How could you hold something so fragile in your heart if it never cared for you or yours? I was so ignorant and stupid. I could have been in stupid love with the sad girl. There is an eternal connection but I severed to much for full repair or full love. Go to it mister. Have yourself a great time. I took pictures with you in the art museum. Promised to draw a sketch each week, at least. Have the time. No commitment. Strike up conversation with everyone I remembered that I used to love. See where it goes, if our respective paths have any bearing on the other. Great indifference. Sleep with me tonight in a tiny bed in a closet bedroom for two weeks.
* * * *
Converting dog years into human years and back. We are invincible. So far suspended. Bonding and fitting into a mold set out months ago. Progressive metal jam. One for the record books. Making up relationships. Just as the doctor ordered. Good luck and good night.
Send out good vibes to all. In my waves. My high and low points. The crest of the wave, share the wealth until drained. Nothing left but spare change. You're only coming through in waves. Spare change fair game.
Out of the rain, into the desert and into a mid-range climate. Kind of becoming a vegetable. Hermit. Only life is the band. The writing is spontaneous and random. If only I were committed to other things like finding a job. Can't get one and start immediately with a week break. The band is my only priority right now. The apartment is fully settled. The guest house with a pool back yard and two lovely dogs named after basketball players. The shared wall. Unimportant. I will be relatively quiet. Be able to blast music in my car shortly. Two weeks about, bumming in a closet bedroom above the studio, a dreamhouse, a dream treehouse. A dream tea house. Coffee house. Golden tongues from sharp angles. The higher frequencies are heard less and less.
Look into bass pedal.
Plan ride to Burbank.
What to bring up?
What to bring back?
Drum head, sticks..
Change bass strings
Bass lessons
Music theory
Vocal warm ups
* * *
Feel like I did nothing today. At the end of it am I any more or less intelligent? We played the songs earlier but should have again. Too tired due to the music. Incubus sounding the best in comparison to my beloved Seattle bands that no one else ever enjoys fully as much as I. The beats are sick and the instrumentation.
We have met no ne. Just us. Now I have a room to myself with a double door and a closet. With a preamp in it that powers the incredible setup below. Have to wake me up to turn on or off the switch. I am well situated up here. I will set myself an alarm and seize the day tomorrow. Because today was too high lazy to be true. Enough of that. 7/11 and ice.
