May 8th

Finding it impossible to write without privacy. Hearing the pages turn of a steinbeck in the other bed and my ears ringing from loud rock music. I earned a merit badge today. I will transition once more into a more realistic depiction of a dream-character. Speeding through light. Nearly in tears, comparing mother to a thousand girls at a daylight karaoke contest. Side by side with a hot dog eating contest. Hold on to yourself as the hash marks your trail from a to b and back. Tore myself away from Arizona. Somehow I am sitting in a California hotel, ears ringing with success... Somehow I have my toiletries in a box in front of me, a book on the bedside table... Car parked in overflow. Studio down the street. The second closest residence. Motel style. Nervous and wandering and wavering. I sense the tension for some reason. Preoccupied with something or other. This is real. This is not a dream. Help me see this through.