Fill me in again why there are mountains. I twisted my tongue. I spoke in tongues. My stereo is still busted. I need to fix it. I need to also fix myself. Keep it all under control. Keep the interactions in tact. Why make everything awkward when we are totally normal people. Tell jokes about psychiatry. I just want to jump into a cold pool with you. I want to feel the appeal of a day well spent. By your side. In rhythm with your breathing the stars pulsate and the sun shines hard down on our young bodies. We are nothing but bodies and sometimes you have to settle for less.
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Make money and work out the body. Did I work out the mind? Testing weaknesses for breaking points. Falling in love with every young woman I see. There is a bridge to gap. To conquer. Everyone in between means so little. I'm still here. There were interactions I'd love to repeat and refine. Quicker reaction time and snappier responses. Something that is all at once endearing, pleasant, comical, forward, and heart-warming. All of the right words in the right order with the perfect pacing in order to accurately communicate. Hope to achieve some level of this greatness so I don't have to spend so much time re-writing conversations in my head, never to be repeated again. (Did say, hey let's start over?' which was certainly a good sign). Get that chemical reaction from the timbre of a voice. Behold the beauty in (turgid) sentence construction. Verses that have intellectual white noise instead of stimulation. How many times can I say 'okay. now have a nice day?' before dying of repetition. Blonde, blue eyes, there is an availability. (I guess I owe you a guitar lesson.) Good luck finding a better buyer. I stocked the candy shelves and waved at my new team. Fools, damn fools, some of them. But they think I am a funny guy perhaps. I can take the jokes for as long as I need to. Eventually I'll throw the ball back into their court. I was ridiculed but that is okay. I probably brought it on myself. Whenever I feel too comfortable in a situation I normally resort to that kind of humor. But whatever the case, I am juggling 50 objects. Some soft and light. Some sharp and heavy. At risk of horrible physical destruction and disfigurement if anything falls apart in my arms. I could not risk to have a finger removed. (let a friend borrow my old drum set. call it frankenstein. make it come alive). Cereal for dinner. But I just did not feel like eating too much due to my fulfilled ravenous appetite the day before. Time for me to take a break and sleep it all off for awhile. All of the musical confusion. My god, why can't we get the emails to work?
I digress. And then I digress. This was originally about the seeking out of confidence. The ability to create a brand new personality that puts all others (of the past) to shame. Because all we have is now and all we ever have is now. There is no space in between for intervention. It is do or die daily. Determinant on the outcome you either live a little better or worse each day. Fuel me, baby. You had chocolate on your lips. (Not the same, the body-model who had a creamsicle eating contest as a younger girl.) brain freeze. it happens to me. I stand staring and realize I'm staring and try to find words or any act of subterfuge. Are you aware or asleep? We are not the walking dead. Why confront them with a problem when it is probably fixable in the morning. Just don't forget, procrastination. (tit job, gettng implants. but why?) I thought she was a letter away.. just stay oh stay. hair like lions mane, there are darker spaces, splotches of sloppy past, we all contribute to the same narrative. But I care not about mine! I am moving forward towards an exponential realization of progress.
"To hinder another's progress is inhuman."
Find myself stories above where I am today. But I must put the work in.
