April 2

One day from start to finish with all of the urgency of an overturned car with passengers inside. No thought to sleep with sugary sweetness, face the reality of potentially rotten, golden, teeth. 14 karats turn your skin orange; you are what you eat. Cleanse the palette and soak the paint brushes in paint thinner. Inhale deep and cleanse yourself as well. Use the feeling for artistic investment. Put the time in to translate an idea that cannot be spoken. Simply an idea for morons to get skewed results... Wow. He says. I feel so strange. In this familiar consciousness. One side effect is the recurring strangeness. The jokes and the attitudes that few seem to share. Shoot at a back board with no hoop. Illness overpower the will for personal improvement. And all day long from beginning to end I tooled with the poetic idea of isolation. We discussed prose as opposed to verse and spoke out in anger, on accident, at a reaction to a story. It was a nice story. My short fuse is for no one's benefit. My comments are gruff and taken as insults or put downs but it is nothing that I indeed. They laugh into their laps and have their own innuendos. They talk of a stalker. I volunteer as body guard. No one is talking to them. He is always talking to them. Trying to get it in? But I can't go on. All day I thought and wrote. I regurgitated vague and minute lecture details, I had a half flavor latte as I reviewed my notes, the watch in the mail, something ancient and familial. (earn the habit to look at a wrist and find nothing there. a forced habit). Sex positions and tv shows and poetry about trying to get up n the morning to the drab cocktail party where they will gossip and drool and feel self important discussing the finer things of life. They are all the same and they act like socialized, scoffing and chuckling, baffoons, clinking together wine glasses in false cheers to their own well being. To our affluence! And our growing, by the second, bank accounts. We are sapping the needy. Taking cuts from charity organizations and embezzlement. fasfdasfnd