A fish with multi-colored scales
The great depths of watery graves
where my childhood sank to the bottom
N o w a y t o s u p p r e s s t h e f l o o d
'what the heck? leave all floodgates open'
grand coulee dam it all to hell
alder god damn
once upon a glacier
we lost our footing
and slide to the bottom
of a 24 story ice continent
scar on the inside of an ankle, from a drunken tumble, to replace an older scar of a burning coal, perhaps to emphasize that historical story, with evidence of mischief all over it.
I barely have any honest scars.
Blood shot eyes in a blood drained alleyway.
This is a stick up and you will give yourself up to my power.
I will drain your bank accounts like a bathtub
and you will never see me again.
10999 songs
Concerned looking. We all need the grades of a lab report to shine through.
Unbelievable though. They talk so fast and confuse themselves with stress.
I can't keep up. Their talking and their pace. It is fast and superficial.
Scum of the earth where do you drain?
Have you spread out like tributary?
Wipe you off the face of the earth.
Ground you up into specs and shoot you into space.
Where you can no longer add such pressure and hostility into the atmosphere.
The pollution of your mind.
The billboards and the products. The life of a rock star.
The life of a college student.
Which life is you?
Which you is life?
First, you must decide what your desires are.
Then go to them.
Go to your desire.
For this step... remove humanity.
It is for you. Could be a location. A job. An opportunity.
At 20, a person should not be your ultimate goal.
Oh sure, many heart warming stories have been written about love at such a young age.
68 years of happy marriage.
But starve yourself, student.
Throw up in that bathroom and take prescribed stimulants to keep your body shaking uncontrollably, your hands working at a prior unknown capacity and all of the random things you do, mental pathways open up, and you do them well. Mind wanders and you wander with it. Where will this take me?
Where will this take me?
First. You must discover what it is you want.
Alone. Do not ask for help. Or assistance.
Do not allow yourself to be manipulated out of your true desire.
There may be a hierarchy.
Chose a few and try to blend them together.
In a nice collage. (It's a nice college. They keep things clean. Despite filthy student body.)
Glue together.
Whatever you choose for yourself. The necessary people. Those who will help you achieve your goal will enter your life. Do not first seek these people out.
Find a mindset first. Then find like minded people.
The desert reinforces me.
I realize I am not them and it shouldn't get me down.
I should be glad that I do not feel as self-important as them.
Most believe in red carpets and stars on boardwalks.
In 5 dollar lattes and chauffeurs.
The sense of ENTITLEMENT.
Why? Where did this come from?
You spoiled eggs.
Throw away that polluted mindset.
My god.
Recycle. Turn the earth green.
Nature. Not money.
This whole experience should be about bettering yourself.
Finding your desire!
Not dollar signs and diamond rings.
Your future wife should be a human.
And should not care to show her friends a diamond ring.
(We will all lie and say 'oh she is a gem!' but then distance ourselves from the couple because of how fucking unbearable they are together. She sucks the life out of him. He doesn't see it, smiles stupid and content. "The sex is great!")
Shiny things don't mean shit.
Send smiles through the mail.
A cursive letter preaching honesty and creativity.
A flood of emotion.
Help me find my way.
Okay, man. Will do.
I'll let you know when I come up with something.
Oh for sure for sure.
Hey man what are you up to tonight?
Not much. Studying. Thinking. You? Party?
Yeah man. I'll hit you up.
Ok cool. Can I bring anyone?
Not sure. I'll get back to you on that.
Meaningless meaningless.
It is an abstraction.
*******
This is social isolation. I don't speak to these mutants.
How to reach out to old friends?
Will it ever be the same?
