Sept 18

Stricken by an overwhelming urge to find and attack. A simple photograph. Something scenic and looking incredible to sit too close to. Holding hands with daisies in between. Floral knowledge overtaking carnal knowledge and we're lost at sea again. "All great things get lost at sea at one point. They have to." An eastbound wind based on the beach rocks and general geography. Hair curling and unfurling like a soft fire in this wind. You hand making that universal heartbeat slowdown for a minute and I feel calm again. But I need a replacement for such a scene. Of course my heart pulls to this. Goodness gracious. The familiar and the reliable. Not the trustworthy. Not anymore. Don't let it be. Huge expectations. Put these memories on huge pedestal and let them be destroyed by gravity. Crumble down to that cold hard ground. Drink soy milk until both feet fall asleep by the angle they rest. Forget everything. Forget the awful things that have flowed down and over through the grapevine. Call yourself a coward and get crushed underneath the weight of it all. Kill those thoughts. I want to be on this beach. I want to teleport there in an instant. Without invitation. Without warning. And ruin whatever charismatic circumstances.. the teamwork to create a structure together, founded on different rumors to stain a reputation. that glorious image in mine eyes. that once perfect person with all of the right things to say at all of the wrong moments, grappling with different insecurities and finding jealousy in between cracks others never search thoroughly. having an eye for things. but she is not a goddess. she has threesomes in back bedrooms for drugs. she is daddy's little girl and nothing to be looked up to. all of my idols destroyed by time and innocence also ruined but at different times for all by the 'enlightened.' the ones who know about all the awful sin in the world and feel cynical enough to share with a once pure soul. damage irreparable. innocence revoked. I wondered what they listened to, all night long? Something beautiful that everyone enjoys to play at the worst moments from then on. A simple reminder. One that jabs at you every time it is played. A song to bring you to your knees. All of everything erased with that kiss of death. That photograph. That kiss of death.