crazy involvement in life, certain circumstances, all of us infantile at mind but lovingly gorgeous in figure. I miss that incredible smile before I could even come to know it. All is lost. All is lost. No negative attitude but that senseless hope could kill a king. No physical weapon. Find yourself surrounded then attacked by all of the hypothetical beauty you can conjure. Rather than actual beauty, actually saying wonderful things that your heart screams from your chest. No voice. No voice. Bumping elbows in playful rhythm, out under the stars, some fake, others real. all entirely intangible. discernment. I couldn't separate the date from the day. The minute from the hour. Frozen in time. Polish off beers and forget anything whispered. There is a time and a place for the correct motivating factors. I sensed a reckless desire and a dangerous chemical released through my blood stream. Testing the brink of insanity. Crossing over to that other side. All alone. All alone. Find yourself bright in these dark trees, shadows cast over delicate motions, water from the ocean, smiles and sunshine, a happiness found and bought over the internet. There are ways to connect. Stay in touch. Explosive contact. Repulsive detachment. Need you like water in my lungs. All the sad songs staying sorry for the cover art. resources and demands patrolled through literature. bookstores and learning experiences, all of the constant awe surrounding. the jazz poetry, the artist in me, the decapitated bicycle, a mother's birthday, a love of music and all things interesting or beautiful. sushi and a split check, broken down etiquette, finding a reason to believe in that new central love-song, trading places and wishing for further, deeper, fragments. Stomach pitted. Knots form out of scattered laces. A philosophy and a theory a religious debate and all the music possible, the sky turning colors, the holding up of one and other in the eyes of the sun, a regret instantly due to fear, there are no more chances for me to try that. commute through that coffee stand, say nothing, fall for anything, come there every damn day and weep. at the grave site, the mortuary, all saving and saying grace, safe to say, reckoned with a new force, overlaps the old and wipes it off the face of the earth. listening for birds and their spirited music through the trees, hanging on to a hang over, the pool reflects everything about a proper cleansing, wishing to hold a moment in my hand and mold it into perfection though something perfect and infinite must have occurred for me to even think this way.
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but god help me, this parent trap, talking about how it is to be raised in this state of affairs as a child, live in a dream globe, finding the personal spiritual awakening, let him believe in his crystals, in the glowing orbs kept in pockets and all of the deja voodoo involved ritualistically. but I wish to drink the galaxy down in my morning coffee. I wish to add up my blessings with a graphing calculator and trace them out onto a giant grid, painting the pattern of the data for all to understand an extreme grateful and humble life. ridiculous. that damn smile and that sinister feeling of all fear. all get out. all get out of me. help this enlightenment cease intermittent. pour yourself out, contents and all. help me write this story and get into my life immediately. invent a portal and something new and exciting will control all vibes. maybe the glowing orbs are right. the rocks in the containers under the palm tree, smashing an old car stereo with an older wooden baseball bat, throwing beer bottles into an empty lot, that weird movie and the desire to grow into the pacific northwest. holy shit.
